Asperger's is Inconvenient

I have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. This explains a lot of why I am the way I am, but I still have to deal with it on a daily basis. Asperger's pretty much guarantees that every social component in your life will be awkward, complicated, confusing, etc....and you end up spending most of your time alone. Us aspies can't pick up on social cues as the average person can. We could talk on and on about something that we find enjoyable, while boring the people listening to death. If someone yawns, looks away for a period of time, etc. we don't pick those up those as cues for us to shut up. Also, when someone is joking, we probably won't laugh and people may find that strange why we're so serious all the time. I was a very serious kid growing up. I didn't know how to have fun. During the summers before I got a job, I wouldn't be outside playing, I would be inside focusing on my feelings of anxiety and depression. That's why I have to live a structured life...or else these feeling of loneliness, anxiety, and depression control my thoughts. During High School it took me 3.5 years to find a good group of kids to hang out with and who I felt comfortable around. But soon after I found that comfort I went to college to start all over again. College is a lot more difficult for aspies. It's a lot harder to find people you feel comfortable around because there are so many people and so many groups to join. Freshman year sucked balls. I kept to myself and did my school work, but was bored the rest of the time. So instead of socializing, I focused on my feelings of loneliness, etc. I wouldn't even know how to approach anyone anyway. Human behavior is very confusing for me. Sophomore year was another crap shoot. It wasn't until Junior year in college I became somewhat comfortable with the people around me. Up until now I have never been to a party, or even hung out with kids outside of class. Lameee. A few of my "friends" left after my junior year and I entered my senior year completely depressed. I had nothing to look forward to anymore...I had to find a new gang of people to hang out with. It was immpossible...only then did I realize how much I need people. I started medication the winter of my senior year and therapy a year later...all the while keeping to myself hoping that someone would come to me...I was just waiting. After 6 months of therapy...I finally realized that I need people in my life,, but how could I if I have social anxiety and this fear that I will never connect with anyone. "Join a group" my therapist suggested. I could, but I didn't want it to be like a nerdy group because I decided that I finally wanted to be intimate with someone. The one thing in my life that I need and that I don't fear anymore. For some reason I wanted to be intimate with another woman, so naturally I joined Pride. I have no expectations about what may happen. I just keep on attending meetings and going to Pride events. I'm still immature with the social aspect of it...don't know when to laugh, talk, etc. Most of the times it makes me very frustrated. Like I meet people and we're both like "yeah we should totally hang out"...but if I don't hear from them, I assume that they really didn't want to hang out....and yeah. It leaves me heartbroken sometimes, but I'm really just taking things way too personally. So slowly I'm getting to understand myself a little better. I haven't found anyone that I hang out a lot with yet :/ On the flip side to having Asperger's...you're a fucking genius.