Light as a Feather

That's not me. When there is the slightest change in wind flow, the feather changes course. It is able to change and adapt easily without becoming upset, angry, depressed, or even happy, joyful etc. The feather just is. That's what I would like to achieve in my lifetime. I know I will be alone...so I should embrace my loneliness and make peace with it...that's my goal in life. My thoughts, are just thoughts, but they make me feel like I am drowning in them...when rather I should be gently touching each thought and letting it go. Attachment...that's a word that I associate myself with too much. I become too attached, but not to material things...rather to people. People who don't take life all too seriously and know how to have fun...but are wise even at their young age...I become very much attached to those people. They're not rare, but they're not plentiful either. They come in just the right quantity on earth. I fall in love with them (as if they were my brother or sister) too quickly and then all of the sudden high school is over, or college is over, or your summer job is done. And that's it. We separate and never see each other again. Once and a while we'll ask how each is doing. I always say "fine", but don't mean it. What I go through is depression. Lack of interest in anything. Panic attacks daily...little sleep at night. I become quiet and unlikable. That would happen to me when I was younger. Now I'm seeing someone and I'm on medication. Medication works wonders. I hate how people view other people taking meds..."oh they must be sick, or all fucked up." As a matter of fact we are sick and fucked up, but we feel those deep emotions that people rarely feel. How would you like to feel pain that no one else in the world felt? Nobody understands you...you would want that pain to go away right? That's what the medication is there for.

So I am deep.

Music can be deep. I think most people listen to music because it makes them happy. It's an escape out of our everyday lives...a break if only for a few moments. I don't listen to music that makes me happy...I listen to music that makes me feel. I can go places I never thought I could go. I've explored the universe, been to the moon, etc. I meditate on the music...I rarely sing along with it...rather, I let the frequencies of the music enter my ears, flow into my brain, and resonate with the neurons. I relax and let it take me wherever. Sometimes it's not a place. Sometimes it's a feeling in my soul that I cannot put into words.

The following songs have changed my life. Just listen and feel, don't watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT-dxG4WWf4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7TLTjqUyog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOoCixFA8OI